Blog Ipsa Loquitur

Published on under Legal Theory

This is the sort of thing my family will make fun of me and the rest of the world’s lawyers for over Christmas dinner. From Abnormal Use:

The plaintiff and his son participated in a pick-up softball game during a Boy Scout camping trip. Despite the fact that the score was not being kept officially, some of the fathers were playing “aggressively” and hitting the ball with “full swings.” Gasp. During one such play, the defendant, attempting to score from second base, collided with the plaintiff, who was blocking home plate. As a result of the collision, the plaintiff suffered a closed head injury and spent two days in the intensive care unit.

Thereafter, the plaintiff and his wife, personally and as guardian ad litem for their son, sued the Boy Scouts of America, the local Pack, and the defendant for personal injury, loss of consortium, and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

Personal injury? Sure, why not? Sounds like the guy got pretty messed up. Negligent infliction of emotional distress? Well, I guess that’s a given with any sort of injury like that; the son could be traumatized at watching his father get knocked out cold like that, or the wife could worry about her husband’s well-being and whatnot.

My favorite tort here, though, is “loss of consortium.” That’s the injury caused by loss of sexytimes. Literally. And you can get money for that. This guy got $1.5 million for loss of consortium when his wife was run over by a bus. It’s actually a really sad story, so don’t read it too close to bedtime.

Wife Hit By Bus is slightly more egregious than This Guy Is Too Into Softball, but loss of sexytimes is still loss of sexytimes. And besides, you already sound ridiculous for suing over a damn Boy Scout softball game, so it’s not like complaining that your sex life took a hit is really going to embarrass you further.

So what happened to the Worst Softball Player Ever? Well, his case got thrown out of court. Then he appealed, and the circuit court threw his case out of court. Then he appealed all the way up to the South Carolina Supreme Court.

Find out what happened at Abnormal Use.