Blog Ipsa Loquitur

Published on under A Day in the Life

Just like 1910, 1810, and so on back to 1110. I’m not sure if anyone said 1010, as they were probably too busy running around with giant swords and slaying orcs to worry about calendars. At least that’s what all my history books said.

This year is going to be pretty cool. To celebrate, I’ve compiled a list of things that we can expect out of this fledgling year:

  • January: The longest eclipse of the century will occur over the Indian Ocean. Also, I will write this blog post. Both of these occurrences were foretold by the Mayan Calendar.

  • February: The Winter Olympics kick off and end. I really look forward to seeing how the icebergs affect Michael Phelps’s backstroke.

  • March: Through the use of the Stargate, the evil aliens known as the Aschen will attempt to make the human race extinct.

  • April: Nothing important happens. I don’t know, someone’s probably going to sue someone or something. Oh, and my last law school class ends.

  • May: I get my J.D., and make everyone call me “Doctor.” I should probably just have put another joke about Michael Phelps here.

  • June: World Cup! Also, I start studying full time for the Bar Exam.

  • July: World Cup! Also, full-time studying for the Bar Exam comes to a dramatic conclusion in a two-day essayfest.

  • August: “Local Man Killed Burning Old Outlines and Highlighters in Post-Exam Catharsis; Outlines in Stable Condition.”

  • September: Ex-law students everywhere wake up from their post-bar hibernations.

  • October: Ex-Law students everywhere hedge their bets by taking the October 2010 LSAT under fake names, in an attempt to make law review on a second pass through law school.

  • November: Bar Exam results come out. This will be the most frightened I will get checking a web page since that time I ran a Google search for my name after a particularly rowdy Spring Break in ‘04.

  • December: I will finally get around to writing a second blog post this year.

Happy New Year, everybody!