I’m definitely not a father. Well, I haven’t talked to that girl (now lady) I dated in high school in quite a while, but I ran into her parents at the mall a few years back, and they were awfully nice to me. I’m going to read between those particularly parental lines and assume, then, that I’m not a father.
That being said, I’m writing this one down: The Tape Trick via Prudent Baby. (Note: web site is not actually written by a baby.)